Sindie's Blog

Monday, March 14, 2005

Fleeting Life

My mom told me yesterday that the doctor called (who my dad had seen earlier in the week for a check up), but wouldn't give the results from his bloodwork over the phone. My dad has high blood pressure and high cholesterol. He's been overweight for the past several years and doesn't exercise or watch what he eats. He's going to be 61 in May. Needless to say, I'm worried about him.

I guess he's supposed to call his doctor today and find out what the results were from his bloodwork. I hope to God it's nothing serious. His own father died at 72 (from colon cancer, though), and that's only 11 years older than my dad is now!

I worry about aging... It's still so unbelievable to think that my parents are quickly moving into being the "old generation" and not the "middle generation." I'm no longer in the "young" generation. I was so used to being considered a part of the "young generation" my whole life, and then, suddenly, in the blink of an eye, I'm in my mid-twenties (certainly not old, I know, but not exactly so young, either... at least not relatively speaking), and I'm left wondering where the time has gone...It has been nearly 10 years since both of my grandmas died. I still remember it like it was yesterday. On March 22, 1995, my parental grandmother died, and my maternal grandmother went into the hospital. My father and brother headed down to Kentucky for the funeral, while my mother and I stayed here to be with her mother. I wasn't really that close to my grandma from Kentucky, but the poor woman had been suffering from cancer from over a year. It spread to all her vital organs... Meanwhile, my maternal grandma was diagnosed with lung cancer. In Sept. 1994, she had had a sarcoma removed from her leg. Some of the cancerous cells wound up getting into her bloodstream and planted themselves into her lungs. On April 8, only two weeks later, she died.

I now wonder just how many more years until my parents die. It's not something I like to ponder, but it does cross my mind quite often. Working in a hospital, I see disease and death all around me, even if it's not face-to-face. I work in cancer research, hoping that one day all the hard work we put into the research will pay off, and finally there might be a cure for this monster called cancer.

All this makes me realize just how precious life really is... and how fleeting. Sometimes I think we all get too wrapped up in the day-to-day activities and the monotony of going to work, paying the bills, cleaning the house, doing this duty, doing that obligation... and then sometimes we sadly wind up neglecting those things and those individuals in our lives who truly matter. For everyone I love, please know that I do love you, even though I may not say it much or show it often enough...

posted by Sindie 12:00 PM